Dear Claire Bear…
Ah my dear friend, remember the days when you used to think of how amazing going to university would be? Where you could just do whatever you felt like. No pressure and no stress. Well my friend that is definitely not the case. You should know that University is nothing like you have ever experienced before. You think that school dealt out a lot of deadlines to meet.
Well here at Rhodes I suppose it is worse because you have to juggle your whole entire life by yourself without the help of your parents which you probably think are ruining your life. They are probably just trying to keep you on the right tracks. I wish I could warn you about the intense lifestyle which you will have to take part in, in order to keep up appearances. This is the huge problem as you will be dragged into the party world full of fun. The huge part of this party scene is the way everyone drinks. No one enjoys a glass of wine or two, people just drink to get absolutely motherless. Maybe there are some people who don’t behave like this, but I have not met any! I want to encourage you to keep on striving towards your goals and do your homework. It is so easy to just forget about your degree and party all the time, 24/7, but in the end you will be the one who will have lost out. Every one says that you can party and then do your work the next day. This does not always happen as you will probably be very hung over from the night before. I encourage you to take pride in your work and for heavens sake go to lectures. It will all be worth it in the end when you get to come back for second year.
By Claire MartinG08m3422
Dear Little Newbie
So, I hear that you’ve decided to take the great leap into the unknown chasm otherwise known as varsity. You must be expecting a whole new world equally overstocked with surprises and horrors. And well you should.
Many people refer to university as a time of transition; a time of change and self discovery. What they don’t tell you is that it is also a time of great fear, pretence, intense loneliness and, once the novelty of freedom has worn off, acute homesickness. Ten to one, you will battle with the abhorrent feelings of anonymity and isolation – even despite having good friends.
What makes everything even worse is that when you look around you, everyone seems to be doing just fine. Yea right! Behind all those exuberant facades lie hurt, anger and fear. The worst part is that most people maintain these fake smiles so effectively that everyone else thinks they are alone in their suffering. But don’t be fooled. If you think you’re the only one battling with homesickness, think again. Behind the latched doors of their res rooms, countless new students release the tide of tears they feel they should be too old to shed.
In first year, I had the privilege of having the sweetest girl as a next door neighbor in res. Although we didn’t communicate too often, I enjoyed her company. She was such a sweet and friendly person, and when homesickness really started getting me depressed in the second term, she was very supportive. She said she knew what it meant to be depressed, to feel completely and utterly alone. But it simply didn’t seem possible that someone with such a positive demeanor could understand.
Two months later I walked into her room expecting the usual hearty hug and chat. Instead she was sitting with pills all over her dresser, trying to steady her hand enough to take them.
So expect parties, best friends and probably the best days of your life. But also be prepared for great trial.
Ever truthfully,
The New Old-timer
Many people refer to university as a time of transition; a time of change and self discovery. What they don’t tell you is that it is also a time of great fear, pretence, intense loneliness and, once the novelty of freedom has worn off, acute homesickness. Ten to one, you will battle with the abhorrent feelings of anonymity and isolation – even despite having good friends.
What makes everything even worse is that when you look around you, everyone seems to be doing just fine. Yea right! Behind all those exuberant facades lie hurt, anger and fear. The worst part is that most people maintain these fake smiles so effectively that everyone else thinks they are alone in their suffering. But don’t be fooled. If you think you’re the only one battling with homesickness, think again. Behind the latched doors of their res rooms, countless new students release the tide of tears they feel they should be too old to shed.
In first year, I had the privilege of having the sweetest girl as a next door neighbor in res. Although we didn’t communicate too often, I enjoyed her company. She was such a sweet and friendly person, and when homesickness really started getting me depressed in the second term, she was very supportive. She said she knew what it meant to be depressed, to feel completely and utterly alone. But it simply didn’t seem possible that someone with such a positive demeanor could understand.
Two months later I walked into her room expecting the usual hearty hug and chat. Instead she was sitting with pills all over her dresser, trying to steady her hand enough to take them.
So expect parties, best friends and probably the best days of your life. But also be prepared for great trial.
Ever truthfully,
The New Old-timer
Dear Irene
Remember the feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you knew for certain that you would be coming to Rhodes University the following year? That feeling was not caused by nervousness or excitement but rather panic as you were leaving behind your ‘Cape Town lifestyle’. You thought nothing back home would ever be the same again.
The dread you felt about leaving your friends and family behind sprouted because you were afraid of change. You even started to worry about never seeing the strange and silly things your parents would do, even though you always hated it.
Do you recall the time Dad was being overly silly in the Longbeach shopping mall? You thought things could not possibly get worse after being woken up to the sound of Springbok Nude Girls blasting from the lounge one Saturday morning. Well things definitely got worse as the day progressed in parental madness. While doing the monthly grocery shopping at Pick ‘n Pay some ancient 80s song started playing over the speakers. Mom was busy choosing which deodorant to buy when shockingly all of a sudden Dad started dancing in the most absurd way possible, index finger pointing to the ground and totally off beat! He did not seem to care who was watching him and what they might be thinking. You felt like the world was about to end. Remember thinking, "RUN Irene, no wait, I can’t do that! Sherbet balls imagine I met these people one day, what will they think of me? This is an absolute shambles!"
Looking back now on that particular episode and many others makes us realise how lucky we are to have fun parents. It makes us appreciate them more when we are away from them.
We wish someone advised us that things would not change that drastically when coming to University. Mom and Dad are just as silly as they were before and friends still treat us exactly the same. It’s like we never left. We have now learnt to appreciate these people more.
Your new biggest Springbok Nude Girl’s fan,
Irene xxx
The dread you felt about leaving your friends and family behind sprouted because you were afraid of change. You even started to worry about never seeing the strange and silly things your parents would do, even though you always hated it.
Do you recall the time Dad was being overly silly in the Longbeach shopping mall? You thought things could not possibly get worse after being woken up to the sound of Springbok Nude Girls blasting from the lounge one Saturday morning. Well things definitely got worse as the day progressed in parental madness. While doing the monthly grocery shopping at Pick ‘n Pay some ancient 80s song started playing over the speakers. Mom was busy choosing which deodorant to buy when shockingly all of a sudden Dad started dancing in the most absurd way possible, index finger pointing to the ground and totally off beat! He did not seem to care who was watching him and what they might be thinking. You felt like the world was about to end. Remember thinking, "RUN Irene, no wait, I can’t do that! Sherbet balls imagine I met these people one day, what will they think of me? This is an absolute shambles!"
Looking back now on that particular episode and many others makes us realise how lucky we are to have fun parents. It makes us appreciate them more when we are away from them.
We wish someone advised us that things would not change that drastically when coming to University. Mom and Dad are just as silly as they were before and friends still treat us exactly the same. It’s like we never left. We have now learnt to appreciate these people more.
Your new biggest Springbok Nude Girl’s fan,
Irene xxx
Welcome Weathered One
Welcome to the world of the unknown. You may think that you know a great deal, but let me advise you now, this is not the case. All your life you have dreamed of goodbyes. Your lust for airports and adventure seems never satisfied; but soon it’ll become old hat. You’ll grace the gates over and over, yet each time, it’ll become harder and harder to say goodbye. Now, you may seem indifferent when it comes to goodbyes. You may feel you can’t wait to get away. You don’t care. But beware of your irrationality dear friend, because soon you’ll be torn in two between your want to get away and your need to get away. After a couple of arrivals, you’ll soon realise, your ties will never escape you. It’ll take an act of nature for you to recognise that life is passing you by. You’ll ride the bumpy silence with frightened hands grabbing for your support. You could have landed on either side of the road, but fate will show you that you have a lesson to learn. Not because you’ve misbehaved, not because you’ve failed. She will teach you that you cannot constantly try to control. Things will happen that’ll seem unfair; you’ll just have to learn to accept them. Dear friend, you cannot please everyone and you cannot always save them. You’ve never been naïve, but that doesn’t mean you can’t stop learning.Her clouded eyes will haunt every time you say goodbye. It’s no joke that it gets more difficult every time, but keep in mind, saying goodbye does not mean its forever. So welcome weathered one. Welcome to the world of the unknown.
See you on the other side…
Dianne
See you on the other side…
Dianne
Dear safe youngster
This is not a letter to fill you with dismay and discouragement, but quite the contraire indeed. I write from a time ahead that is brimmed and bubbling with all the greatness you may have dreamed of, yet I shall include that which is not spoken of often, that which is necessary in order to gain that personal retrospective pride.
I am talking about the anxiety of answers, or the anxiety of no answers at all. I am talking about gaining insight into the absurd situation of life, and really reeling in an anguish of utter despair. This is the side I saw, dear one, a side that my interests sent me plummeting into, to stagger, and cry, and be absorbed by sheer pessimistic hopelessness… But wait.
Remember all those questions of faith that answers gained no concrete absolute, circling in riddles that bore no definite end? Well, they never do come to some objective reality. They never present the divine closure that one so adamantly requires.
Delving into the abyss of the past and its scriptures, you find that the only truth is the one you are capable of constructing subjectively, as coherently and rationally as possible. Sticking together fragments of other men’s thought, to construct the identity and belief that you favour. I believe Francis Bacon said: “A little philosophy inclineth man’s mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men’s minds to religion.”
This provides hope in its own accord. The fact of hopelessness is a mere scaffold of
hope.
You see, my younger one, by gaining insight you gain ignorance. And as much as it may seem to lead you backwards, the results are more than often eventually moving forward.
Yours hopingly
Timothy Gabb
I am talking about the anxiety of answers, or the anxiety of no answers at all. I am talking about gaining insight into the absurd situation of life, and really reeling in an anguish of utter despair. This is the side I saw, dear one, a side that my interests sent me plummeting into, to stagger, and cry, and be absorbed by sheer pessimistic hopelessness… But wait.
Remember all those questions of faith that answers gained no concrete absolute, circling in riddles that bore no definite end? Well, they never do come to some objective reality. They never present the divine closure that one so adamantly requires.
Delving into the abyss of the past and its scriptures, you find that the only truth is the one you are capable of constructing subjectively, as coherently and rationally as possible. Sticking together fragments of other men’s thought, to construct the identity and belief that you favour. I believe Francis Bacon said: “A little philosophy inclineth man’s mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men’s minds to religion.”
This provides hope in its own accord. The fact of hopelessness is a mere scaffold of
hope.
You see, my younger one, by gaining insight you gain ignorance. And as much as it may seem to lead you backwards, the results are more than often eventually moving forward.
Yours hopingly
Timothy Gabb
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